commas-and-ampersands:

corseque:

Ok I feel like I must talk about this movie (in my quest to keep track of versions of Beauty and the Beast). It’s a rip-off, off-brand sequel to Snow White that we had on VHS growing up and watched over and over. I just rewatched it with my sister, and I realized why…. I liked it as a kid.

I have to say this movie is the worst, but the last ~10 minutes has this strange worrying jump in intensity. Like there are some things:

  • shitty wizard who literally pretends to be your

    fiancé to try to kill you

  • shitty wizard who looks like dracula and turns into a dragon
  • the shitty wizard cursed He-Man-lookin’ Prince Charming to look like Orko (so Snow White’s love interest is gremlin Orko from He-Man)
  • literally all woman characters; the only two human male characters in this movie have shifting/transforming bodies
  • the wizard stone cold kills the prince with FLOATING LASER EYES
  • that absurdly viscerally revolting animation of the villain dragging Snow White up those steps
  • that stone cape is fuckin terrifying, it’s just plain worrying
  • the comedy relief characters getting plain killed
  • Snow White fucking throws the cape on him with her own two hands
  • that terrifying jump in animation quality during the shitty wizard’s death
  • Orko’s Beauty and the Beast reanimation scene

The only thing we remembered about this movie was that the prince was cursed to look like Orko and he secretly helped them through the movie, so seeing that hard-ass ending was out of nowhere.

DUDE

I OWN THIS MOVIE

I OWN THIS MOVIE ON VHS

I STUBBORNLY REFUSE TO GET RID OF MY DECADES OLD TV WITH BUILT IN VCR FOR THIS AND OTHER OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE MOVIES I HAVE ON VHS

AND IN CONCLUSION

I LOVE THIS MOVIE

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