Ok for some god awful reason YouTube recommend this to me.

It’s a surprisingly well edited fan video shipping Jim from Treasure Planet with… I guess both Ariel and her daughter Melody???

The video starts off like it’s Jim x Melody but then the prince cheats on Ariel with Princess Odette from tge Swan Princess???and then he goes to. Brothel made up of Jasmine and Esmeralda and bangs Jessica Rabbit bc she looks like Ariel?????? Then prince Eric murders his wife and child the end.

Ok so let me break this down for you guys.

We begin with our protag, Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet,
arriving on the CGI ship from Frozen to whatever town Ariel and
Prince Eric live in ok whatever.

Good honest Jimmy immediately becomes enthralled by the feminine
wiles of Melody, the 12 year old half mermaid
daughter of Ariel and Eric. Who is 12. Jim is 17. 

They have some pleasant chit chat on the beach, as 12 and 17 year
olds tend to do. Then Jim, for some reason, is at the ball (birthday?
saturday night jam session?) for Melody because I guess 12 year olds
have balls in this thriving beach-side society of terrible merpeople
human hybrids. Jim appears smitten, gazing lovingly upon Melody’s
bitchin’ eyebrows. I wish I knew how to fill in my eyebrows that


Ariel, meanwhile, watches a 17 year old space drifter
flirt-bonding with her prepubescent child with the kind of sweet
nostalgic smile only a woman who has felt the touch of an older man
knows. The viewer appears to be only person in this universe feeling

BUT WAIT. Trouble in paradise for Ariel as Jim witnesses Prince
Eric and Princess Odette, the vicious homewrecker, from The Swan
Princess(was that disney? i dont think that was disney?) sharing a
romantic moment in a super public place that isn’t very good for
infidelity you wanna keep under wraps. 

Mr. Hawkins breaks the news to Ariel, in a tense sea-side moment
wrought with raw emotion and tension. 

In a later scene Ariel joins Jim and Melody on the beach, where
she remembers her days as a hot underage mermaid. Jim apparently now
lusts after Ariel? Or did he not lust after Melody in the beginning
and it was suppose to be like a sister-brother kind of situation that
we where looking too much into? Is he in love with both an older
woman and a younger woman that happen to be mother and daughter? I am
still not resolved.

Ok so Jim definitely is in love with Ariel who turns him down,
despite having watched him lovingly from her window in a prior scene.
Jim has only one option…

Go to a brothel! Where Jasmine and Esmeralda are apparently supplementing their incomes with sex
work. Apparently disgusted by their hip swaying Jim’s attention is
drawn to…Jessica Rabbit. Who also lives in Little Mermaid Town
because why not.


In a confrontation with Ariel over her supposed flirting with Jim,
despite documented accounts of Eric’s own infidelity with a
human-bird monster, Eric absolutely loses his shit and
attacks Ariel with a fucking sword.  

Then orders what I think is the Russian army from Anastasia to
pistol whip his daughter unconscious
. I am not sure if Eric
thinks Melody is the hidden daughter of Ariel and Jim, even though
she looks exactly like Eric, or if he’s just totally insane. It’s
never really explained. 

Eric has Ariel and his own daughter locked up in the dungeons,
teaching his daughter that if mommy is a dirty flirt you get the
shackles too I guess. Then suddenly I guess a fire starts and shit
get’s real for Ariel and presumably Melody. 

Jim Hawkins bravely rushes to the scene, facing the fires to save
his mother daughter love triangle. Only to find that the flames have
claimed their lives and he is too late. There is no word about Eric
or the world-wide war between magical mermaids and humans he’s
started by murdering the youngest daughter of the literal king of the

Maybe the real treasure was the mermaid love triangle he found along the way.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s