You know, I truly do find it amazing what Capcom accomplished, because when I say “[X character] deserved better” that is meant almost exclusively for female characters who got a shit deal from their writers, as way too many do, so for me to say that about a MALE character takes a truly superlative amount of shitty choices and wasted potential, and yet with Klavier they somehow managed that feat.

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Sadly bc I love Lana and Lanamia I did some research… while I have no idea what kind if sentencing they get in legal dystopia Japanifornia… accomplices (which Lana technically is) usually get the same sentence as the actual commiters… so she is in jail for a long time… but if u want to imagine Mia visiting her through Pearl or Maya that’s fine… still I would like to know and why hasn’t Ema mentioned her?? Ugh Capcom

WELL GIVEN THEN FACT THAT CAPCOM HAS IGNORED LANA’S EXISTENCE ENTIRELY AND HAS MENTIONED JACK SHIT ABOUT SENTENCING LAWS FOR ACCOMPLICES (and that legal dystopia Japanifornia frankly MAKES LITTLE SENSE ANYWAY) I CAN THEREFORE DECIDE THAT LANA IS OUT OF JAIL AND SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND IS HAPPY AND EMA AT THE VERY LEAST SEES HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY EVERY YEAR AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT

I CAN DO THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE JACK SHIT CAPCOM, SO I CAN DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE

also please don’t ask me about my never-to-be-written fic about Maya going to visit Lana in prison and channeling Mia so they can say goodbye and it is is ultimate LESBIAN ANGST HELL please don’t do that thing because I am shit about actual writing my goddamn ideas

ALSO WE HAVE NOW PLAYED AS PHOENIX, APOLLO, ATHENA, MILES, MIA, AND EVEN FOR A VERY BRIEF PERIOD AS MAYA

YOU KNOW HOW WE HAVEN’T PLAYED AS YET?

FRANZISKA

CAPCOM WHEN WILL YOU LET US BE THE WHIP-HAPPY PROSECUTOR WE ALL WANT TO BE